How Not To Take An Interview!

Over the last 17 months, I tried, and I tried applying to jobs from various verticals, industries, specializations, you name it, I applied to it!

I finally landed on my current role at a multi-cloud computing company. I couldn’t be happier! The very thing I was hoping for, finally happened!

However, the last 17 months threw up a lot of interesting interactions with recruiters, interviewers, consultants and I thought this would be a good way to jot down my experiences.

 

You know what, let’s call interview by some other name – InterPhew! Because, I got out of them alive, get it?!

 

Okay, stepping away from the PJ, here’s my experience of InterPhew #57

 

Given the Pandemic situation, all of my interviews were being held via video conferencing. Not this one. This particular IT security company asked me to come down to the office in Noida. This was, of course, a pre-second wave of Covid-19. I promptly went to the office location at the given time – 2 PM. By the way, I had arrived half an hour earlier than the given time, pardon my paranoia and inane urge to arrive everywhere early as heck!

 

I reached the office, signed the security book, went up to the floor, and waited for my POC (the HR personnel who had been in touch with me). I waited, and I waited some more.. and then some. By 3:15 PM (mind you, it had been over an hour of me waiting for some intimation, and also an hour of me calling up my POC to give me some idea about the next steps), I was getting understandably agitated. AT 3:15 PM, the security guard at the front desk, gave me a QR code to scan which then, in turn, led me to an Assessment page on their website on my phone. I was instructed to complete the assessment in the next 30 minutes. Alright, I thought to myself, looks like we are finally getting into some action. I completed the assessment and then informed the guard. All this while, there were about 10 other interviewees like me sitting in the reception area. Every one of them seemed to be there for a different kind of role. They were being called one by one, to a meeting room down the hall which was out of my line of sight.

 

Anyway, take a wild guess about what happened to post the assessment test? More waiting, yay! Finally, at 4:15 PM,  I was asked by the guard (still no sign of my POC, or any other legit employee of the company) to head straight down the hall and meet my interviewer in Meeting Room C (at least, you could get a bit innovative with the names of the meeting rooms, sheesh.)

 

Here, I meet another HR manager, who introduces himself to be my POC’s Manager. Alright, let’s get this show on the road. The interview began with basic questions about my work history, what my experience has been like, which industries I have worked for… you get the drift.

Then came the personal questions. He just head-on barrelled into the most uncomfortable interview ever. The HR manager asked me about my name. Hold on, I think we are better off with a sort of dialogue format:

HR: “So, I have been meaning to ask. Your name is very unique.”

Me: “Unique, how so?”

HR: “Well, your last name is Muslim, and you have a Hindu first name.”

Me: “No story there. I am a Hindu, married to a Muslim. I have taken his last name.”

HR: “Aah, I see! So, do you practice Islam?”

Getting uncomfortable by the second, I scratch my nose, and say, “I don’t see how that’s in any way relevant to the job in question.”

HR: “No, no don’t get me wrong. There’s no problem there, I was only curious.”

“You see, 99% of our clients are from the public or government sector. You know how they are! (me, mentally to myself: “I don’t think I do, and I have no idea where this conversation is going)

“OK, I see you are getting confused. Well, while dealing with the government sector, you will have to deal with all sorts of people, from bureaucrats to peons, to PAs, to Sarkari officers, etc. All of them might not be this nice, you know.”

“Let me give you a situational question…”

“Sounds good”, thinking we are finally back on track with actual questions. Sorely mistaken!

HR, “suppose, you are in talks with a senior official from the one government department and you have finally secured a meeting with him, through his peon. You arrive at their office, and the peon asks you that hey since he got you that interview, how about giving him a party?”

 

At this point, I had, of course, made up my mind that this would the last place I would ever want to work. However, my curiosity was piqued. I wanted to know more, and I wanted to see how far this person would take the interview.

 

Me: “Party? I am not sure; I know what that means?”

HR: “Arrey, party? Party is like you know, a gift (he started gesturing with his hands – a bottle of alcohol.) You know, it’s a very Indian way to gesture that with your forearm vertical and the other arm perpendicular to it. It’s universally (I mean, pan India) acknowledged as the symbol for a bottle of booze.

Him, carrying on - “so, Ms. M, what would you do in this situation?”

 

Okay, a little bit more background about me. I am the daughter of a retired Indian Revenue Services Commissioner, and my father instilled a very strict code of ethics and morality in me. So, my insides were justifiably screaming at this guy.

 

Me: “That’s a very awkward question (read, uncomfortable. Guy, take a hint!) I will, of course, say no, because bribery is something which I don’t conform to. I would try to appease him in a professional way to let me meet the senior official, as that is important for my company.”

HR: “OK, let me ask you another way. Suppose you finally get to meet the official. He meets you in his office, and then asks that, why don’t you and he take this elsewhere, perhaps over dinner? What would be your reaction at this point?”

 

Me: “speechless…umm, this is highly unprecedented, but I would try to be professional and meet the official along with my colleagues. I will ensure that we stick to the agenda and try to get the maximum value out of the meeting. (At this point, you must realize, I am just spinning it.)

 

HR: (taking this as motivation to carry on) “Alternatively, as part of your job, you’d be required to travel to tier 2 and tier 3 cities across India, almost 20-22 days of the month. You are on one such trip, you have met the official multiple times with your colleagues, and this time around, he asks you to come alone to his hotel room and finalize the terms of the contract. How will you approach this situation?

 

Me: “I am uncomfortable with this line of questioning, and I have never had this experience. And to be quite frank, it looks like, I may not be the right person for this job.”

 

HR: “Oh, don’t get so sensitive. (Wow, sexist much? I have to give credit to the guy to be so honest though) I am just telling you how it is. I am trying to give you a crystal-clear image of how your job will be like here. In fact, the reason I asked you about your religious inclination is because there is a ‘Hindutva ki leher’ in India. (His words.) You know how the ruling party in our country is against certain communities (He’s really not mincing his words anymore). You should become more iron-stomached to face people who would ask you about your marriage, your Muslim husband, and your religious choices.

 

Me: “Thanks, Mr. H. I definitely got a very clear picture of how things are done here. This has been an interesting interview. I will take your leave now.”

 

HR: “Sure, we will call you once we have made our decision.”

 

I pretty much power-walked away from this company, and its people. So, there you have it, folks. My weird experience with a weird workplace.

 

I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Have you had any such experiences in your search for a job or a career opportunity? Let’s discuss!

 

Epilogue: I did get a call from my initial POC and told me I got the job. That was when, I politely refused the offer, citing my obvious discomfort with the functioning, the role, and the unethical demands of the job.