How Not To Answer Some Interview Questions!

Let’s do another one. This was InterPhew #2. If you have been following my blog, you would know that here, I talk about my interview experiences. The good, the bad, the ugly. Also, you should know that my interview experiences are in no particular order. It’s all Jeremy Bearimy (IYKYK). 

Furthermore, to know if the following story is going to be a happy, sad, shocking, creepy one, well…. You’ll just have to read on. No Spoilers! 

So, this one was last year around January. It had just been a month of me being on a career break, i.e. I had left my previous job in December 2019. We were in January 2020, oblivious to the incoming pandemic meteor that was to hit us in the next few weeks. 

I was part of a wonderful software company until 2019, and they truly molded me into the professional that I am today. Since it was a major organization, obviously I came into the job market with a very obnoxious attitude, thinking I would definitely score a major company and get a great job offer to boot. Now, I laugh at my myopia and naivete. 

I received a call from the HR of a massive tech company. I was super excited! To even get a call from such a major SaaS company (I’m talking number 2 on the Fortune 100 list!), was in itself a huge win. Anyway, I got this call and things started rolling into motion and then I was scheduled for a call with the Hiring Manager. 

Thus, began my research into the company, their products, services, and offerings. I did my homework. But nothing could have prepared me for the interview… It was, to put it mildly, a conversation that gobsmacked me. 

Love to do it, dialogues-style – 

Hiring Manager: “Ms. M, how are you today?”

Me: “Very well, thank you. How about you?” [ First mistake. I will talk about this later]

HM: “Not too bad, thanks. So, I have your resume in front of me. I have all the details I need to know. Why don’t you tell me something, which is not there in your resume, one aspect of your professional life, and one from your personal life.”

Me: (internally thinking- this has never been asked before from me!) Out loud -“Wow, interesting question! I would say, I am a creative person. You won’t find that on my resume, but I did help create a lot of framework for email and telephonic communication for my last organization. I was asked by the Director, to create standardized templates for emails for first outreach, second, third, and so on follow-up emails, as well as templates for cold calling. I am proud to say, these templates are still used in the organization by the sales team to reach out to the customers. On a personal level, I am a mother of 2 kids, a 5-year-old daughter, and a 2-year-old son, who keep me on my toes and make me sharpen my negotiation skills! [second mistake. Again, will touch this later]

HM: “Good to know. Now, let’s move on to your work experience. What were your KPI’s?”

Then the interview went on quite smoothly, for a short duration. I was able to articulate quite well my experience, domain knowledge and it was smooth sailing. Not for long, though. Finally, the interviewer asked me if I would be comfortable working for the US shift, as 80% of his revenue was from that region. 

This was the third strike for me, as I had to politely turn down the wonderful offer.

Why do you ask? My husband is currently working the graveyard shift, and with the aforementioned kids that I have, I am, of course, not going to sustain a US shift for long, if I even consider doing that. I owe it to the future organization, complete honesty from my end. What kind of a person would I be, if I take up a job which requires me to do a night shift, only to leave it after a few months because of familial commitments? 

We live in a society, where we expect the mothers to be primary caregivers, not just to their kids, but also to the spouse, the in-laws, the extended family. Don’t get me wrong. That is just how it is, how we have been conditioned since childhood. How humans of different genders, have pre-defined roles and it is going to take at least 100 more years if not less to change that narrative. This is not going to turn into a feminist tirade (at least not in this current post!). 

Coming back to the mistakes (okay, now this is solely going to be from an interview prep perspective, so those looking for jobs, pay attention!)

Mistake no. 1 – “How are you today?” This is not your favorite Barista whom you used to meet for your daily dose of coffee (I miss a Pandemic-free world!), this is not a random by-passer on your way to work or the gym. This is your interviewer, and these very first words are actually the most important ones out of their mouth. You should use this opportunity to be memorable – so don’t please, don’t answer with a “fine”, I’m good, thanks”. Standing out from the (unemployed) crowd is simple. All you have to do is ask yourself the following question throughout the day: “What could I do, at this moment, that would be the exact opposite of everyone else?” This makes the mundane memorable (God, I love alliterations!) 

Remember, your interviewer has probably spoken to many candidates before you, and most likely will speak to many candidates after you. So, what can you do to make yourself stand out? 

“So, how are you today?”

Sure, it’s an overused and otherwise boring question. Not to mention, most people who ask it don’t actually care how you are. They’re either: 1) being nice, 2) breaking the ice, or 3) reverting into a predictable routine of psychological self-disclosure and cliché conversation.

But here’s the cool part: If you choose to leverage this mundane moment, you will instantly double your memorability. Score! 

Just an option for you to consider:

“I am glad you asked! Everything is beautiful! I am at a stage in life, where I really know what I want from my career, and I am all charged up to get it. How are you doing?”

BAM! *mic drop*

I know, I know…. This would probably seem like a movie line, in your head. But, bear with me. If you keep practicing various versions of this line, not only are you going to stand out from the crowd, you will be leveraging on a mundane moment, and ramping up your memorability like heck. Kids, I didn’t do this, obviously. I missed out on a lot of opportunities because I passed on this wonderful ice breaker. 

 

Mistake no. 2 – Talking about my kids. Trigger warning: This is going to be sensitive territory. Don’t @ me. 

Some organizations appreciate you being completely upfront and honest about your personal life. Some interviewers really dig it when they get to know about your home life, your parenting skills, etc. Some might not have that great an affinity to it. It’s basically a Russian Roulette because you would never get to know who the person on the other side of the screen is. It’s obviously a known strategy to do thorough research on your interview, as well the person interviewing you, but I am sure 99% of you would probably limit your research to LinkedIn. It would be a bit creepy if you tend to research their other social profiles, like Instagram (don’t slide into their DMs), or Facebook (don’t like their doggy pic). Joe Goldberg, much? 

So bottom line, you do not really know the interviewer, until you are face to face with them.

As a woman, I have noticed that If I am speaking to a man, they are put off by my mention of kids. Their instant reaction to it (internal obviously), is that oh, she’s a mother. She will probably have family commitments, would take a lot of leaves for her kid’s annual days, sports days, vaccinations, sick days, etc. 

I get a very different reaction to this answer if I am speaking with a woman. It’s an anthropological thing (one, I would love to write about someday soon). Women are inherently attuned to other childbearing women, and they empathize with their counterparts. 

Even my husband, who is a Team Manager has mentioned this to me, in a very casual, unaware sort of way. If given a choice, he’d rather hire a single woman or a man, rather than a married woman with kids, because apparently that just lowers your points. Companies talk a big game about Diversity and Inclusion, and honestly, I have seen very few organizations, living up to that mission. 

My present organization is a great one where they do take this seriously and are on a mission to have as diverse and inclusive a culture as possible! 

 

Hence, it was an immensely difficult decision for me to turn down this offer. I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Have you had any such experiences in your search for a job or a career opportunity? Let’s discuss!